'Food jobs' - or retail positions are everywhere.

I remember once talking to this girl on YouTube years ago, frustrated and out of clue about job security - who briefly ended the conversation on the comment section by mentioning that she worked in retail. Perhaps I envied her casualness of being, besides the fact that she had a very fit look on her profile image.

Regardless, online relationship wise things usually, or ALWAYS, end up such ways where there's no direct pull of being in close intimacy to someone - just random strangers trying to either self-express or sell their businesses through the net. ..As if such a thing had a power to render the most extreme of all conversation down to nothing but 'Hi's' and 'Bye's' we learned as kids.

.....

My face change constantly nowadays in my subjectivity, the more I obsess myself with my mirror image. It's the pain. By that I don't know how my "natural" face would've looked like, unless I'm in that blissful zone of doing yoga/finding "YouTube Doctors" to explain away my symptoms & demonstrate some physical remedies in those recorded videos, that is in matter of minutes. A case where self-mocking has met its end = horrible lifestyle habit.

....

I do think Sex need to be talked more about as culture. By that yes I am now trying to detach myself from whatever I had going on (or have mentioned publicly) before. By which I should be grateful for the minuscule influence my Twitter or other social account have as of this moment. Of which "habit" you can blame my "bio dad" in my own humble opinion. Which I believe is a type of joke those hardcore junkies I met & left up in New York could laugh at with all their local might; but a harrowing comment that could possibly make the very admin of this website cringe with a bit of disgust. Fact is, I'll never know. ...

But why that specific subject matter? It's not like I don't know anything. Stuff was that it could turn out to be ANYTHING: "Underage minor girls in porn" to "sex addiction" or "medically assisted sex". ...At least the last one seems to be rather transparent, where it seems to arise out of pure need esp. for disabled bodies whatnot. .. But when one asks if Korea has venue for that specified sort of activity to be legalized, I'd give as its previous inhabitant NO as a plain simple answer - unless one was talking about myriads of red-light district existent across the country's metropolitan areas. .....

I grew up near that culture. At least not all the time - but I do remember passing by those zone when I was attending the American school within the military base; now decades after I'm just being "filled in" on what has been going on majorly (yes) through YouTube & Korean News channels that now uploads 3~4 minute length of bite-sized materials. Of course Korean 20-year-old-something girls "messing up" with native American troops and being on the news for not only the business but also getting involved with drugs - is nothing new to someone like me as well: Esp. if my own stepdad was that American military himself. Like, DUH.

......

My teenage self couldn't have felt sorer when she find her grown self not excelling as a fancy graphic novelist, having gained her market success in the U.S. - but rather turning back to a small organization for people who are sick & incredibly overseas.

..With all my due respect, I should finish this lonely dinner I made for myself using Maangchi recipe and should be ready for the Buddhist meeting I've signed up for for $150.